Your emotions affect what you say and what you do in the moment, they also affect your child.  For example, anger is a very common human emotion.  At times you may feel angry but what you do and say when you’re angry is important to your relationship with your child and it’s also how your child learns to express different emotions eg anger. Things that may make parents feel angry include: whining, not doing what’s been asked, not getting ready for school or bedtime, fighting with siblings, not doing well in school, and talking rudely.

Here are some tips:

·       Try taking deep breaths for a minute to calm yourself.  Have a ‘quiet’ area where family members can go when they’re upset.  Tell your child that you need a break, stop talking, and go sit in your quiet area until you feel more calm and ready to talk.

Calm yourself first, then problem solve with your child.

o   Define the problem without blaming or shaming.

o   Listen to your child’s point of view and then explain yours.

o   Ask your child what they think they could do to solve the problem.  Ask if they would like some suggestions if they are stuck.

o   Write them down as a visual reminded to both the child and yourself.

o   Together, choose one or two ideas that you think might work.

o   Help your child plan for success for example- Setting up a homework area, decide upon a bedtime together). Compromising and ensuring your child feels heard.

o   Try it out for a week or two, then check back to see if it’s working. If not, try another solution.

Think about how you speak to your child.  When you’re angry, calling your child names can lead to low self-esteem, low self-confidence, cause problems at home or at school, increase illness, and cause trouble getting along with friends.  It also hurts the relationship between you and your child, so instead of saying: “you are so rude”, try saying: “you need to speak politely to me”.